I’m so happy that I don’t know last week’s results yet. Somehow I managed to avoid hearing on Twitter, Facebook, and SRM.
The sound for this show sounds like it’s being run through a robot filter.
Ooh. Simon thought he got praise of one contestant wrong and that when he watched it back, one of the contestants was so bad that he had to turn it off.
Oh dear. Group song is “I’ve Gotta Feeling.” I’m embarrassed to say that I like this song. Except the parts where they’re just talk/yelling. But the “I’ve gotta feeling” parts are catchy. You don’t have to shame me, I shame myself often on this account. They’re totally lip syncing this one. And yes, they sound better than the BEPs. Not surprising.
Tim is safe. He and his stupid hair will be back next (this) week.
Todrick is asked to keep standing for a while.
Big Mike is safe.
Casey is safe.
So now it’s between John and Todrick. I think John will go home.
John is out. Todrick is safe.
Lee is safe.
Aaron is safe.
Alex, one of the most adorable boys ever, is safe.
It’s down to Jermaine and Andrew. There’s no way Andrew goes home.
Andrew is safe. Jermaine is out.
Ryan asks if Jermaine thinks his mouth got him in trouble. Jermaine says no. He says he respects a lot of the guys who are there doing their own thing. And in God there is no failure. And “most of all, everybody need to go out and get a onesie.” If you say so.
Now Danny Gokey is singing his new single “My Best Days Are Ahead of Me.” I like him. And apparently he went with a country sound for his album, because Randy Travis told him he needed to. He does sound good with the country flair. And he’s about to go on tour with Sugarland.
It hurts me that Bones won’t be back until April.
Lilly is safe.
Paige is safe.
Oh man. Looking at the rest of the row, I fear Didi is going home. :(
Katie is safe.
So it’s down to Didi and Michelle. Kara says that as moved as she was in the room last night, when she watched it back later, it wasn’t off. And she thinks Michelle may be in jeopardy.
Didi is safe! Michelle is out. Wow. America apparently agrees with me. And I wonder if Michelle’s who Simon was talking about.
Katelyn is safe. And also now wearing birds on her ears. I’m starting to fear for the bird population.
Crystal is safe.
Siobhan is safe.
Which means it’s down to Haeley and Lacey, both of whom I had picked to go home. I think it’ll be Haeley. Lacey’s wearing a peacock in her hair. Simon says it’s very obvious who’s going to go home.
Haeley is out. Lacey is safe.
Ryan asks what she’s gonna do when she gets back to school. “Um… learn?” Haha.
I’m loving this swan song music, whatever it is. Someone tell me what it is, so I can buy it. Haeley is fighting tears through her final song.
So that’s it for last week. I’ll get to blog tonight’s show either tonight or in the morning, so please come back for it!
Ellen has dressed up more tonight and Kahra’s not so dressy.
01 Crystal Bowersox has a twin brother, whom she describes as a square. Yeah, well my sibs call me the same thing, so he must be awesome. She’s singing CCR’s “Long as I Can See the Light” and plans to put a gospel twist on it. I love how she has her dreads pulled back in a bulbous ponytail. No, I really do love it. She looks so much cleaner tonight. And holy smokes, her voice. She’s brilliant, and this is brilliant, and she’s kind of the one to beat this year. RANDY: Yo, Crystal. I gotta say this. To me, in life, truth is reality. You are the truth. You do what you do. I just love that you’re not trying to be anyone else. I love that girl. That girl is hot! ELLEN: That is pure, raw, natural talent. There’s nothing forced, nothing pushed. I was so scared for you, and I’m so glad you’re here today. KAHRA: You completely recovered from last week. It just didn’t fit you. This is who you are. You are Americana rock. Tonight, you actually hit a new level. SIMON: I know how sick you were, you really were ill, and I didn’t know if you were gonna be back here this week. What I like is that you didn’t play the whole sympathy thing, you chose a great song. I completely misunderestimated you from last week. This was like the moment we realized with Kelly Clarkson that we’ve got a serious artist here. And I think we’ve got a really serious artist with you. Congratulations. SARAHK: Ok, I have to say, she just looks a whole new level of gorgeous tonight that she hasn’t looked in the past. She has like a glow. Oh, also? I’d love to see her do something by Dave Matthews Band.
02 Haeley Vaughn is singing Miley Cyrus this week. I hope it’s that one Miley song out of all of them that I actually like. And it is. “The Climb.” She makes headbands and puts giant, ugly flowers on them. And then wears them onstage. She doesn’t know how to not smile, but she’s gonna try not to smile as much onstage tonight. I’m not loving this. It’s hella pitchy, and when she tries to do this high note at the end, she gets cracky. RANDY: You want me to keep it real, right? It didn’t work for me, man. It was excruciating. It was so pitchy and just so not right for you. You had no connection to the song at all. ELLEN: First of all, don’t ever stop smiling. You’re adorable. I did not feel you connected to the song. I didn’t feel like it worked out. KAHRA: You have kind of the Alex Lambert factor, you have people rooting for you at home. You’re real, and you’re a really good performer. Unfortunately, honey, you need about a year of strengthening your instrument. Because you do have talent, but it’s very inconsistent. SIMON: Look, I agree, I don’t want to make this any worse than it already is. Because it was a complete and utter mess. In theory, it should have worked. There’s a bit of an irony in you singing that song about climbing, when really, you fell off. SARAHK: Yeah, it was bad. And I’m sorry that Kahra did the condescending “honey” thing with you. No one should have to endure that.
More snark…
01 Michael “Big Mike” Lynche. “This is a Man’s World.” Booooorrrrrrrring. Sounded like something you might play while you’re having sex, not something you’d want to hear on the radio. Bleh. RANDY: Standing o. SARAHK: Um, ok. ELLEN: Loved. KARA: I didn’t get it until tonight. You went from singer to potentially great artist. I don’t know what you ate between last week and this week. SIMON: I think a lot. What a difference. Exactly the right kind of song. Didn’t sound dated. By far the best performance you’ve given in the competition so far. SARAHK: Yeah, he sang it well, but I just don’t get slow R&B as Idol songs. Same reason I was utterly bored by Ruben Studdard.
02 John Park. “Gravity.” Man, what is with all the gettin’-it-on music? This was boring, too. Vocals were fine, but meh. RANDY: You didn’t add anything to it. ELLEN: Right song choice, not enough soul, better than in rehearsal. Try to feel the song more. KAHRA: Way better than last week. My concern for you is the connection. I don’t always believe it. You need to let loose, don’t be safe. SIMON: I think “Purple Haze” may get their lead singer back this week. It’s what I call a so-what? performance. In 20 minutes, we’re going to forget that. SARAHK: Yep.
Apparently, Ellen’s thing is to dress down, and Kahra’s is to dress up. Gotta go with Kahra on this one.
03 Casey James. He’s wearing a girl’s shirt. SPIKE: So are you, pet. SARAHK: Yes, well, I’m a… nevermind. CASEY doesn’t own a TV. He’s one of those. He also has some secret pre-show ritual that he won’t tell us about unless he makes the top 10. He’s singing “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Electric guitar and everything. He’s great, love him. Wow, and he’s doing a big ol’ guitar solo right there on the American Idol stage. RANDY: I love you channeling all those rockers. I don’t know if you did the best vocal, but I could see you doing this music as an artist and winning. ELLEN: Such a great song. Sounded great, loved the guitar. On paper everything is there, but there’s a stiffness about you. Perform more, but everything else is great. CASEY: I’ll give you more. KAHRA: Look, we all know, the cougar is a fan. Tonight you took two steps backward for me. Tonight everything that was distinct about you went away. SIMON: Did he not return your calls, darling? KAHRA: No you didn’t. SIMON: Last week you chose a great song. This week, you turned into anyone you will see in any bar across America. You don’t have the grit in your voice for that song. CASEY: That hurts a little. SARAHK: Simon, we’re on a break.
04 Alex Lambert. He’s kind of adorable and has major stagefright and usually throws up before performing. “Everybody Knows.” Out there with his guitar. Love love loving this. RANDY: This is such an improvement over last week. It didn’t sound as soundalike as in the past. Really enjoyed that, man. Way legit tonight. ELLEN: It’s like someone took that unripe banana and put it in the paper bag. So much better than last week. Such a great voice under that little mullet. You are somebody I’ve never seen before. KAHRA: Everyone’s rooting for you. Great tone. You’re gonna learn what to do with that voice. SIMON: Alex, that was a million times better than last week. The only time you should be nervous is if you’re useless, and you’re not. But I don’t get the impression that you’re in this to win. You don’t have that killer instinct. I wish I was choosing your songs for you right now. From here on in, I don’t want to hear anymore about nerves and that nonsense, because you’re a good singer. RYAN: You get what he means about the killer instinct, right? See, when I fail, Simon is thrilled. SIMON: And I’m constantly thrilled.
More snark…
The Amazing Race. Go cowboys! They are just owning this race. Pretty smart guys. Also, they always make sure to have gays and/or lesbians on the show, and that’s fine, but I don’t think they’re doing the gay community a big service, considering that all the gays they’ve had on the show have turned out to be whiny babies. Just sayin’. One more thing: I was sad to see the moms go home. Kinda wanted to see Phil give them a pass and let them continue on. Oh well. But yay for the dad/daughter team coming in 2nd!
Chuck. Boooooooooo. Sarah/Sam + Shaw = Booooooooo. But that’s cool that he broke up with Hannah. She’s a spy anyway.
Big Bang Theory. Oh, how I’ve missed you, Sheldon! Funny episode.
The Middle. I loved the ending, where Brick missed the word because of the whispering. Hahahahaha. And then slamming over the mic stand. So anti-Brick.
Modern Family. “He comes from a long line of fishermen and smugglers. But I encourage the fishing.”
The Office. Man, that was a hilarious episode, one of their funniest ever. Breastfeeding the wrong baby!!! That was one of the funniest things they’ve ever had on the show. Also, Oscar: “The hospital will provide dictionaries! Take a thesaurus!” Hahaha. Also, Erin and Andy. “YOU read the fax!”
Community. “We have to find this person for Abed. Unless it’s a boy, and then we need to find him for Jesus.” I love her.
Parks and Recreation. “April, you’re like an angel with no wings.” “So like a person.”
Psych. LOL. Lassiter, sunglasses moment.
Caprica. Well well. Look what show just got more interesting to the Spike-ieth power. It actually started getting interesting last week. Now I’m hooked. Please let Barnabus be a permanent fixture.
CSI: Miami. I liked when Horatio & Delko went to L.A. together. But I hope they’re not going to do a CSI: LA spinoff. I’d much rather have CSI: Anchorage or CSI: Boise. CSI: Yellowstone.
CSI: NY. I love Mac. Also, the pimp/drug dealer dude was funny. At first I thought he was supposed to be some kind of European–English, Scottish, Irish, and then he morphed into weird deep southern.
Undercover Boss. I am totally in love with this show. And the CEO of 7-11. And his employees. Especially Igor. Every time Igor spoke, I cried. He kept going on and on about how wonderful America is, how it’s the best country in the world. I break down any time I hear foreigners who have immigrated here and appreciate what they have, who just LOVE America. And then the CEO gave him his own franchise! I bawled.
The Amazing Race. Well, look at those little wily cowboys. I may have to pick them as my faves again, now that Team Grandma is out. Oh, and when Granny got kicked in the head by a cow, I panicked.
LOST. LOL at Hurley. “And I just lied to a samurai.” Also, Jacob’s a tool.
24. They killed Sark! Booooo. Also, yay to Jack + Renee = potential future <3! And boo to the stupid hillbilly subplot. Though I’m really glad the hillbillies are dead.
Olympics. Glad it’s over. I can now go back to living elsewhere besides the couch. Also, GO USA! Record for most medals in a single winter Olympics! And: Frank and I are scheduled for a Learn To Curl class!
This… is American Idol.
Ryan asks why Simon was harsher than normal. Eh, I didn’t think so. I thought he was smoking crack a few times, but not any harsher than normal. Ellen was surprised that she said she likes bananas. Randy says the early top 24 rounds are tough. Ryan asks Kahra how things are at home. Well, her husband came tonight to protect the men from her, so.
The top 24 are singing “American Boy.” It’s awkward when the guys sing, “I’m likin’ this American Boy.” I like that Crystal doesn’t look like she’s totally out of her element with the little dance moves and the poppishness. She’s having fun with it, even though it’s totally not her comfort zone. Same for the ’70s dude. Good for them.
Girls are up first in the hot seat.
Siobhan is safe.
Haeley is safe.
Michelle is safe.
Katelyn is safe.
Either Katie or Janell is going home. I didn’t have either of them picked to go home, but out of these two, I’d say Janell is gone.
Janell is out.
(Also, I forgot two would be going home, so I only picked one to go. Just assume my bottom two of Paige and Lacey would have been my picks for leaving.)
Alison Iraheta sings her new single “Scar.” She’s wearing a short black dress with a party going on in the back. You can call it a mullet dress if you like. And I can’t understand the song, because she’s slurring all her words. I do love the hair, though. Bright red with blue streaks, very patriotic.
Paige is safe.
Lacey is safe. Wow, I was way off with my predictions, and I’m glad she gets to stay. My guess is Ashley is the other who leaves. I’ll cry if it’s Didi.
Lilly is safe.
Crystal is safe.
Didi is safe.
Ashley is out. Ashley’s mom has the same hair as Lacey.
I did have both of the ousted girls in my bottom four.
Ryan’s showing us rehearsal video from yesterday. Tyler apparently showed up in his bathrobe, tennis socks, and boots. He thought he was headed to wardrobe, but it was rehearsal. Oops.
Big Mike is safe.
John is safe.
Aaron is safe.
Todrick is safe.
Tim is safe.
Joe is out.
Once again, I see that I only picked one to leave–my Idol blogging this week was full of fail. I had him in my bottom three, and I would have picked him as my other besides Jermaine to go home.
Idol Gives Back returns this year! April 21st, sponsored by Exxon-Mobil, Newscorp, Ford, Coke, and some company I despise. They’re going to focus on Haiti this year. Well, yes. Kris Allen just went to Haiti. He’s performing tonight, it’ll be available on iTunes, and 100% of the proceeds go to Haiti. He’s singing “Let It Be.” It’s quite lovely, and I’ll have to buy it.
Casey is safe. Before Ryan gives him his result, he mentions Kahra, and Casey shoots an apologetic look at someone in the audience, I assume Kahra’s husband.
Jermaine is safe. Him?
Lee is safe.
Andrew is safe.
It’s down to Tyler and Alex. I like them both, but I don’t think there’s any way Alex goes home. I’m really surprised either of these two is standing up there. Simon thinks based on vocals, Tyler will go home. Me too.
Alex is safe.
Tyler’s out.
Tyler feels like he didn’t get constructive criticism in Hollywood week, and that the constructive criticism they gave him last night was too late. He was really nice about it. And based on what they showed of Hollywood week, I’d say he’s right.
Ryan says, “This… is American–Simon, stop talking.” Hahaha. Anyway, this… is American Idol.
Simon’s showing deep cleavage tonight. Randy says be true to yourselves, guys. Kahra says the biggest thing is nerves. Ryan mentions that she’s been up there in a bikini, so how do you control your nerves? I don’t remember what Kahra says. Ellen says it’s mixed differently in person than at home, so if we say you sound bad here, you sound worse to the viewers at home. Haha, true. Simon says he saw an awful lot of nerves in rehearsal, and “if you lose it here or forget your words, your career is over.” No pressure!
01 Todrick Hall gets the first spot. He’s from Arlington, TX, the best of the Arlingtons. He’s singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone.” He’s made it hip-hoppish, and I would love it if it had kept any similarity to the original, which it doesn’t. I didn’t really care for him in the early rounds, but I do like him much better tonight. Not really a vocal powerhouse, and the chorus is bland (where it’s the best and most exciting part of Kelly’s version) but it is a great performance. I would have loved it if I didn’t know the original version of the song. But still good. ELLEN: I love that you took the song and did something different with it. The singing wasn’t the greatest, the chorus was rough. RANDY: You know I’m a fan of yours, right? You’re an amazing performer, but it wasn’t even the same song. Don’t completely obliterate the song so it doesn’t sound anything like the original. KAHRA: I agree with Randy. And like your risk, but don’t go that crazy. SIMON: I think you came over as a dancer trying to sing rather than as a singer who can also dance. What you did is completely murder the original song. I think it was verging on stupid what you just did. SARAHK: Lighten up, Francis. It wasn’t BAD, it was just too unrecognizable. I give him props for doing his own arrangement rather than covering an obscure cover.
02 Aaron Kelly is 16 and a cute kid, so expect him to stick around a long time because the tweeners want someone to crush on whether he’s good or not. He’s singing Rascall Flatts’s “Here Comes Goodbye.” He’s doing a perfect sound-alike, as Simon would say. If I didn’t know it wasn’t RF, I would look up at the TV to see if it was them. So. It sounds great, but way too much like the original for the judges to like it. Also, he’s very awkward on the stage, like he doesn’t really know what to do with himself. Great 2nd half of the song. Well done, great vocals. Not great stage presence. SIMON: You know what, bearing in mind it’s your first live show, it actually was quite a good performance. You look at the moment as if you’re embarrassed to be there, and you’re not even confident enough to even know why you’re here. You’re a good singer, very likable, very cute. But you have to take control of the song. But 100% you’ll be here next week. KAHRA: You’re my favorite kind of contestant, because you have no idea what you’ve got. Blaaaaaaaaaaardeblah. RANDY: I forgot you’ve got all those pipes. Even though there were a couple of little pitchy moments, I was like, dude. Believe in yourself. 16, what a voice, dude, wow. ELLEN: Ditto to all that. I think you’re going to be here a long time. I love how humble you are. You do need confidence, but you’re just going to get better and better.
More snark…
So tonight we have the top 12 girls. This… is American Idol.
It’s so sad to see Simon at the judges’ table without Pauler. So. Simon said in the NY Post that it’s gonna be a girls’ year. Which means the guys will step up. Ryan asks Kahra a question, but I’m not listening. Randy tells the girls to wrack the stage with their vocals. Or maybe rack, I don’t know. Ellen tells them to be all they can be.
Ellen and Simon are bookends, and Ellen says they had to be separated because Simon wants her and is handsy. So now they show tape of Simon trying to feel up Ellen’s thigh. LOL. Fake, of course, but very funny. I’ve been pleasantly surprised with Ellen so far on the show.
01 Paige Miles is up first, and I don’t remember her at all from the early rounds. She must not have been showcased, or she was forgettable. She’s singing “All Right Now.” Terrible song choice, just awful. That’s a jingle, not an Idol song. And she doesn’t make me pick up the phone. Very disappointed. I hope the other girls are better than her. Simon thinks she has the best voice out of all the girls. Am I high? Is he high? She did not impress me at all. Simon chides her for song selection but thinks she’ll be okay. Kahra says Simon’s wrong about the song choice, but she thinks she should have done more with the chorus. Randy thinks it’s not a good song choice but that she showed her powerful voice. Ellen says, “I agree and disagree with all of them.” She says Paige was so there, sounded fantastic. They must really have her pegged for top 12, because I am utterly baffled. Oh, fun times for Paige: she tells Ryan, “Yeah, I’m sown into my outfit. I’ve been waiting to pee for like five hours.”
02 Ashley Rodriguez is next. Simon bagged on Jordin Sparks’s song “Battlefield” during Ashley’s audition. I’m not a big Sparks fan, and I really kinda like that song. But he’s not on board. She’s singing Leona Lewis’s “Happy.” See, she’s lucky, because since I live under a rock, I’ve never heard it. Ok, this song is too big for her, or she’s trying to do too much with it, and she’s off-key on the lower notes. Next, please. Kahra thinks that was a big song and tells her that going forward, she should take on songs they wouldn’t expect from her. Randy says she shouldn’t sing a song from the big singers, because she’ll always be compared to them. Ellen would also like to see her step out and do a different vibe. Simon thought it was clumsy, he didn’t like the arrangement, and he thinks she’s going backwards from the very first time they met her. He doesn’t see her as a recording artist, just someone who sings other people’s songs. He thinks she could be in trouble.
The Old Spice commercial with the hot guy with the abs on the horse? Love it hard.
03 Janell Wheeler is next. Ooh, she’s taking on Heart, singing “What About Love.” I hate girls who can get away with wearing skinny jeans. Jealous much. She’s not bad. Not as good as I was expecting–loved her in Hollywood week, and this isn’t as good. She just didn’t do anything with it, and even at the end, she didn’t do the higher variation on “Don’t let it slip away,” and I was expecting it, so it was a disappointment. It sounds to me like her nerves got her a bit, because her voice just wasn’t strong. Randy starts with the yo yos, which is never a good sign. He tells her she didn’t bring something unique and different and original. Ellen liked the song choice and liked the performance. Simon: You gave 100% effort and probably delivered 65%. Tells her she went off-key when she got nervous. He thinks she’ll survive the week. Kahra says the song was too big for her.
04 Lilly Scott, one of my early faves, is next. Wow, she just never lets the peacocks rest, does she? She’s singing “Fixing A Hole” by the Beatles. Has the guit-tar. Her earrings are some other kind of bird feather, not peacock, tonight. Love love love her. Voted. Ellen says that’s what the judges mean when they say unexpected song choice. She stands out, has a great presence, unique voice. Ellen loves it. Simon says she’s the best so far, mainly because he thinks she picked the song because she likes it. He still doesn’t get star power from her, probably because of nerves. And says lots of people on the internet are doing what she’s doing. Birds of a feather and all that. But he tells her well done. Kahra says she’s believable, from the heart, blah blah blah. Randy loves that she’s more like a real indie artist and not just sounding like one or something.
Oh, so now Kahra is trying to take Pauler’s place by talking to Simon while Ryan’s talking to the contestants.
More snark…
The Amazing Race. Don’t worry, kids! There are plenty of gays on TAR this season, so you don’t have to worry that the ever-predictable streak will end. Ok, at first I was rooting for the cowboys, and then they traded in their American money for Brazilian money when they were going to Chile. Still impressed that they came back from last place to get third. I like the grama & granddaughter, and I hate to say it, but I like the “and such as” girl, because she’s taking all the cattiness about her in stride, so far.
24. I was hoping Sark would betray his dad and go to the Feds, but at least he betrayed his dad, as I predicted. Also, I hope Starbuck kills the ex-boyfriend in the next episode and then we don’t hear about him for the rest of the season.
LOST. I’m more confused than ever and starting to think I should have watched all 5 seasons before this one started. But at least we kinda sorta got a crappy explanation on the numbers. Oh, I just thought of something and wish I hadn’t already deleted the ep before I wrote this: maybe the number next to each person’s name is the age the person was when he or she first met Jacob? I can’t remember what numbers were next to which names, but it would make sense if Locke=42 and Ford=8, right?
Human Target. I loved that the elevator had binary code all over it. I also loved that they were initially gonna parachute out, because that was totally an ALIAS theme, and the rescue-ee was Marshall Flinkman. Ok, I’m not gonna list everything I loved about this episode. It was great. Love the show.
Smallville. I want Lois’s dress. Frank said that would be acceptable housewife attire in his opinion, too.
American Idol Hollywood round #3 notes:
I like that they let the families be there for the final auditions this year. Have they done that before? I love Casey James, love that he did “Bubbly” for his last audition song, love his voice, everything about him. One of my very faves, and I hope he makes it to the top 24. Also, Jermaine Sellers shot himself in the foot by throwing the band under the bus–what an idiot and a douche. Really like Alex Lambert–I didn’t notice him at all until his final audition, but I looooved him doing “I’m Yours.” Really like Charity Vance. Mary Powers has a lousy personality, and her voice isn’t nearly as good as she would have you believe. I’m sad Aaron Sellers forgot his lyrics, because I really like his voice. Too bad that Janell Wheeler sang the wrong song, because I liked her. Glad that Room 1 made it, also that some from Room 2 didn’t make it (Mary Powers and her attitude). Sad for Hope Johnson, but she wasn’t great in her final performance. I’m glad that Room 3 made it through. BTW, did you notice that Ellen got to tell Room 1, Simon told Room 2, and Kahra and Randy had to team up to tell Room 4. They’re still the kiddie table.
So here we go with the big top 24 reveal…
Michael Lynch (Big Mike) makes it to the top 24 unanimously. There was talk of him being booted because his dad told a Florida newspaper that he made it, but apparently, he’s been spared by the Idol gods, because his picture’s on the top 24 page.
Didi Benami makes it, yay! Unanimously again. Love this girl.
Katelyn Epperly is in, and based on what they showed of her auditions, that’s surprising. She doesn’t stand out to me as great. I hope they’re not putting her through because of the whole my-dad-left-my-mom thing, because I think it’s totally obnoxious that she’s airing that out on national TV.
Shelby Dressel seemed to fizzle a bit in Hollywood, and Randy tells her she’s out. He tells her to come back and try again. After she leaves, Simon tells the others it was the wrong decision. So apparently that wasn’t unanimous.
Casey James, one of my faves and from my Fort Worth, is next. He says he’s from Cool, Texas? I’ve never heard of it. He says it’s between Weatherford and Mineral Wells, which would explain why I’ve never heard of it. Anyway, Casey is through, and Kahra, who wants to pass him notes in class, can’t wait to hug him. She hugs him… and does the little leg kick while hugging. Randy calls her on it, and Simon looks like he doesn’t understand her at all.
Aaron Kelly, just from the little they’ve shown of him, makes me think of David Archuleta, so I’m not thrilled that he makes it to the top 24.
Lee Dewyze has a good voice, and they haven’t showcased him at all until now. He’s in.
Todrick Hall is a dancer and is surprised he’s competing with these people. He’s in.
Jessica Furney is out. She made it to Hollywood last season too. But it’s so pathetic when they beg, especially when the decisions have already been made. And after she’s out of the building, she blames the group she was in. Nothing is my fault! I lost my voice because of my group, not because I wasn’t responsible enough to preserve it, and certainly NOT because the other people sing better.
American Idol Hollywood round #4 notes:
Janell Wheeler is through to the top 24, so I’m glad they forgave her last performance. She tells Ryan, “If I was bikini girl, I’d kiss you right now.” He doesn’t encourage her.
Tyler Grady makes it through.
Lacey Brown was top 50 last year, and it came down between her and Megan Joy “Caw Caw” Corkrey, and Megan won in the singoff. Maybe she’ll be more stable than Megan Joy. She’s in. I wish they would have showcased her, because she can saaang.
Ashley Rodriguez is in.
Alex Lambert is in, yay!
Joe Munoz is in.
Crystal Bowersox thought AI was watched by like 3 million people. She would be so gorgeous without those dreads. She’s in.
Katie Stevens is in.
Angela Martin, who is in Hollywood for the 3rd time, is up next. Kahra decides to sit with Angela, which is weird, because Angela ends up on the arm of the chair, and Kahra sits in Angela’s chair. Kahra tells her she’s out and to keep going. I’m surprised, because I think she’s better than Katelyn Epperly.
Lilly Scott, the girl who likes to wear peacocks on her ears, is in. Yay! Maybe for the top 24 performances, she can get some rabbits feet for her ears.
Paige Miles, Siobhan Magnus, Michelle Delamor, Jermaine Sellers, and John Park are all in. On Siobhan, I have to say, “Her?” Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong girl, but she doesn’t do it for me. And on Jermaine, I have to say, “Him?” because of the whole diva-throws-band-under-bus thing. The other guys must have really stunk it up for him to make it.
Haeley Vaughn seems more teenagery every time she talks, but I love her voice. She’s in, after Simon toys with her a bit.
Tory Kelly is out. I don’t think they’ve shown her once.
Andrew Garcia and Thaddeus Johnson are the last two guys. Thaddeus is out. Simon tells Thaddeus he’s really sorry and that Thaddeus didn’t do anything wrong this week. That’s a nice thing for Simon to tell him. Means the competition among the guys is tough. Aw, I want to bake him a pie, because he’s taking it really hard, but then he calls the judges fake for acting like they liked him, so I withdraw my pie baking.
Andrew makes it (yay! He’s the one who was brilliant on Paula’s “Straight Up”), and he cries almost as much as Thaddeus. Ok, now I want to bake *him* a pie.
24. Renee’s definitely gonna replace Jack as the show’s main badass. You heard it here first. Or tenth. I don’t know.
American Idol Denver auditions. So apparently there’s a theme this year: black female country singers. I’ve liked both of them so far. Also, the judges were kinda smoking crack on day 1 of the Denver auditions. And um… bikini boy. Yikes.
American Idol “Road to Hollywood”. LOL. “I wanna hear about your suntan” is back! Not as good as “pants on the ground,” though. Um… Beautiful Man Flower? Even if you think you’re a beautiful man flower, you should never say so, ok? Thanks.
Chuck. “You aim carefully, Bartowski. Don’t you make me a eunuch. Or else I’ll teach you the meaning of ‘an eye for an eye.’” And: “Just like Bartowski. Bring a knife to a gunfight.”
Big Bang Theory. “Did you try rebooting him?” “No, I think it’s a firmware problem.” LOL. I love that I get that joke. Also: “What are you talking about?” “Einstein.” “I’m gonna need a little more than that.” “Albert Einstein.” And: “I asked myself what’s the most mind-numbing task I could do? And I came up with three answers: toll-booth attendant, Apple Store ‘genius,’ and what Penny does.” And the end of Sheldon’s not working at the Cheesecake Factory was high-larious.
The Middle. “I cannot believe how irresponsible you are. Watch this baby.” Haha. Also: “I told you this is forty percent of your grade! This is your future!” “I know! Why do you think I’ve been working on it for the last hour?”
CSI: Horatio. When did Horatio’s son enlist? I don’t remember that at all. Also, I knew the husband did it all along. He confirmed it when he told Horatio “you have no proof of any of this.” Red flag, dude.
CSI: NY. “Now it’s all pale skin and skinny and sharp teeth and great hair.” BTW, I think this was Soap Opera Actors Affirmative Action Day on CSI: NY.
Community. “The guy never wears a shirt, he never wears shoes. How has he not died from lack of service?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And I love the movie riffing. Also: “He’s got her in some kind of hippie collar. I can hear her armpit hair growing from here.”
Parks and Recreation. “I’m gonna haunt you. I’m gonna follow you. I’m gonna play the Black Eyed Peas on a non-stop loop.”
The Office. “Too much change… is not good. Just ask the climate.” That actually made me laugh.
LOST. Yeah, I’m more confused than ever. I think when season 6 comes out on DVD, I’ll just sit down and watch all 6 all the way through and see if I can make sense of anything. Also, it’s nice to be able to put a face on the toner monster.
House. “Maybe you self-pranked.” “I don’t masterprank.” Heh.
Bones. The bit with Booth & Bones at the beginning where they’re driving to the church is classic B&B. I love it when those two discuss religion. “The accelerant was motor oil, available at any gas station.” “At least it isn’t brimstone, available only from hell.” Also: “I’m an excellent loony bin crazy-ass sifter.” I love Sweets.
30 Rock. Hasn’t been as funny this season as the previous seasons. Still funny, but we’re not laughing as much.
Human Target. Dude. Guerrero is super-scary.
Psych. “Genesis. Exorcist. Leviathan. Deu…. the right thing.” Also, LOL at the “No Touching” sign on the wall in the interrogation room.
Fringe. So I guess they have people faking global warming data in other universes, too? Also, this is the first time I noticed the Greek letter phi on the back of the frog that sometimes takes us to commercial break. Was that always there? J.J. liked putting codes in the city names in ALIAS too. Just as I yelled at Peter, “Why don’t ya kiss her instead of talkin’ her to death?!” he went in for the kiss. Then she ran away to save the world. She’s an idiot.
Modern Family. “What’s Jagermeister?” “You know how in fairy tales there’s always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep, and then the prince comes and kisses her?” “Yeah.” “It’s like that, except you don’t wake up in a castle. You wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.”
Smallville. Man, I expected this episode to be much better, since it was a big two hour ep. It was just kind of meh, and the villain was stupid.
Aw yeah. Tonight is the always awful group day. This… is American Idol. And this is one of the hardest to blog, because there’s too much going on, too many names flying around at once, and too much DRAMA.
We’ve got 96 contestants left.
The group that named themselves Phoenix has a girl from last year who was in a group with Danny Gokey. We also have The Mighty Rangers. No one knows what they’re doing. The Dreamers, who picked up 2 extra girls a few minutes ago, can’t find their 2 extra girls, so they’re firing them, which is probably smart, because 5 might be too many egos to rein in.
The Dreamers are the only group who haven’t started practicing, because they haven’t decided how many people are in the group, 3 or 5. So they’re running off to one of the producers to ask how many people can be in a group. Boring.
Neopolitan has 4, and they are working on Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance.” Across the room, Destiny’s Wild (REALLY??) is also doing Gaga, and they have to keep moving because they’re practicing way too loud and bothering all the other contestants. Natch, they’ve decided everyone else is jealous. Personally, I think they should sing a little softer so they don’t lose their voices, but whatevs. Destiny’s Wild (REALLY??) moves right next to Neopolitan, and drama ensues. Neopolitan is accusing DW (R??) of stealing their awesomely awesome dance move (where they clap their hands at a certain part–can you imagine inventing hand-clapping and someone STEALING that??). Shenanigans!
Phoenix is rehearsing in a closet, and Moorea is trying to take over arranging the song, and no one likes it. She wants to get harmonies in there, and they’re all saying that there’s no way they can do harmonies on this verse. She thinks she’s in charge because she made it to Hollywood last year, and I wonder why no one is mentioning that she didn’t get PAST Hollywood week last year. “Let’s just get all the harmonies tight and then be done for the night.” No one is on board.
Mary, the overplaying-it rocker chick, has taken over the Dreamers, and they’re gonna stick with 5. Maybe they should try practicing their song.
Meanwhile, it’s 2:30 a.m., and Big Mike, of whom I am no fan, is upstairs talking to his wife, who’s getting ready to deliver their baby without the in-person support of the baby’s father. His team (Team Awesome) finished first of all the teams, and they’ve already split for the night. I love how Idol tries to play these as great family moments, which they’re not. But I will say, this isn’t as horrible as Phil Stacey’s audition, which was the first round, before Hollywood week. I can kind of maybe see sticking around to audition if you’ve made it all the way to Hollywood week and are in the top 96. But I still don’t like him.
Some of the contestants are now in bed and others are still rehearsing or falling asleep in rehearsals. The Power Rangers or whatever they’re called are 5 people, and 3 think they’re done and the choreography will make them stand out, while the other 2 think they need to work on their choreography. The Dreamers are revamping their earlier power struggle. One of the other vocal girls besides Mary is under the impression that the opinions of every group member should count (what?!) while Mary is being kind of a jerk, saying that she’s not going to put her confidence in someone else. Because it’s not like there’s a difference between hearing another opinion and turning over the reins of your life to someone else! Oh, also? It’s group night, so you’d better get some confidence in your groupies, or you’re screwed tomorrow! “It ain’t about them carrying me to the 24, honey.” Good luck, twit.
I think the contestants were more mature back when the age limit was 26.
In rehearsal, even the keyboardist finds Mary to be pushy and tells her to get a grip.
DW (R??) rehearses while Neopolitan gets impatient. DW (R??) goes to bed, and Neopolitan is fatigued and messing up. So they’re going to bed.
So now it’s the next day, and the groups have all picked up their rehearsals. Everyone’s happy and energetic now, and everyone’s confident and ready for the day.
At 10:30, final dress rehearsals. And lots of people have forgotten their words. The keyboardist: “Do any of you guys know the lyric? It’s one verse you have to remember.” And the vocal coach tells Phoenix that they don’t know what they’re doing. And now the crowd has devolved into group day crowd. Love it!
Mary (oh please, let her go home tonight) is calling the one guy in the Dreamers the weakest link, because he stops singing when he forgets the lyrics. “I don’t care what you do, sing something.”
Big Mike’s wife is 8 cm now. I am not touched.
And now Mary is crying about how her group isn’t awesome and together like the other groups.
Just as the groups enter the auditorium, Mike gets called away, and Team Awesome stays out with him. Wife is in full labor. There’s lovely Patrick Park-ish music playing, and we are all supposed to be all kinds of emotional over this. Don’t worry, baby. You’ll meet your daddy someday. He’s obviously going to the top 24 with all this time they’ve spent on him, so it may be a while yet, but hang in there.
The first group is Faith, a group of 3 girls. They’re all very good, especially Charity Vance. The performance is simple but good. They all make it through. “Front row… and back row, you’re all through.”
Team Awesome is next. They’re ok. Big Mike and Tim Urban step forward. The other two are Nick Castro and the guy with the autistic kid. Big Mike and Tim Urban are through to the next round. The other two are out. The guy with the autistic kid is gonna go home and take care of his family. Good man. Want to bake him a pie.
Neopolitan is up now. DW (R??) is unhappy that Neopolitan is first and singing a capella, because they stole a capella from DW (R??). Did you know that DW (R??) invented a capella? Yep, true story. Simon likes Neopolitan and thinks they all came over well. LOL. Neopolitan says, “No one had chosen this song, actually, so we just decided to take it and have fun with it.” So Neopolitan is all through to the next round.
DW (R??) gets up next, and I think they’re better than Neopolitan, despite the whininess. The choreography and harmonies are better. Ellen tells them they were weird and that their outfits are Cirque du Soleil-ish. But they’re all through. Let the whining continue.
The next nameless group is all through, as is the next nameless group, and the next one, and the next.
The Power Rangers are next, and one is worried that today’s her last day, because the team hadn’t wanted to practice. First girl is really good. The worried girl isn’t very good, but the judges seem to like her. Then the next three forget their lyrics. The first 2 go through, and it’s crying for the others. One of them begs. Simon tells him begging isn’t cool.
5 p.m.
Phoenix is having issues. They’re the ones who didn’t know what they were doing, and at the last minute, one girl decides she’s leaving the competition, because she knows she would mess up, and she doesn’t want to humiliate herself. Because getting this far and ditching your group makes everyone think you’re awesome. The keyboardist comes out and tells them not to panic, that their choreography might change a bit but their vocals won’t. They look like they’re barely hanging on. So now, right away, they have to perform as a group of 4. Jermaine Sellers is really good. The other three are kind of meh and all forget at least some of their lyrics. Moorea tries to tell the judges that they’ll be happy with the results no matter what because of their struggles. Simon’s like, “The struggle was that you had 12 hours to learn a song. That’s not hardship.” Ellen mentions losing the 5th girl, and Simon says that happens in life, it’s not a hardship, it’s rubbish. Jermaine and Jeff move on, and the other two are out. Jermaine tells the cameras that he’s not meant to be in a group.
Oh dear. Next group is singing “Sweet Escape” by Gwen Stefani, and apparently groups have been struggling with this all day. Oh my. This is so awful, and I’m sad, because the black Taylor Swift is going home. Two make it through, and the other two are out.
The next group, Big Dreams, has Matt Lawrence, the ex-convict who’s turning his life around, and the drama queen from last week. Simon stops them and says it’s as bad as anything he’s ever heard before. They’re all going home.
Lots of highlighted people went home. We always do lose a lot of good talent to group night.
Middle C is up and includes Casey James. Apparently they’re all through. And Three Men & a Baby are good, too (though why they didn’t call it Three Men & a Babe, I will never know).
The Dreamers are the last group of the day. Seems like pretty much the whole group is done with Mary. Mary has some weird vocal outbursts that raise Simon’s eyebrows. Kahra says it’s like The Dream Died. The judges are not impressed at all with the harmonies. Mary, Hope, and Alex (from NRH, TX!) are through to the next round. The other two girls are out. Mary, of course, has something to say. “I love them all and I wish them all the best, but I will never work with them again. Hahahahaha.” Seriously, no one in the world likes you, Mary.
71 kids are through to the final Hollywood week round. No, wait. It looks like Haeley Vaughn (black Taylor Swift) is sticking around. And Kahra has already told a girl named Katie that she could be the potential winner.
Oh, hold up. So only 25 kids got cut on that day? WHAT?
Tuesday night, final performances by the contestants before the top 24, and I assume we get the top 24 Wednesday night.
Ryan says that Ellen’s what we’ve all been waiting for. And by “we,” he means “no one.” Anyway, this… is American Idol.
BTW, did y’all miss me? You’d better say yes, or I’ll cry, and I’m ugly when I cry. Catch my Idol thoughts for last week’s shows in my Quick Hits, which will hopefully be posted tomorrow. We can dream, right?
The hopefuls are at the Kodak Theater. Ellen comes out to greet them, and she’s dressed like she’s on her way to a construction site. Natch. Ellen to Simon: “So this is it, huh? I come on, you leave.” And he takes me with him!
First line is up. Katie Stevens sings well but sings a Stevie song, so go home. The rules are: you don’t sing Stevie on American Idol, or I abandon you. Skiiboski is next, and even though I appreciate the way he’s dressed much better this week, I’m just not that into him. Ellen says he scares her with his intensity. We’re skipping the others. Katie’s in, Skiiboski’s out. We don’t know about the other 6. They will tell us who they want us to love as we go.
Montage of Simon’s insults, followed by Ellen’s insults.
Next line, Andrew Garcia is singing w/ his guitar, doing an acoustic coffee-housey version of Pauler’s “Straight Up,” and I am LOVING it. Brilliant. Kahra is going on and on with her praise, predicting what Pauler would say. Ellen predicts a seal clap. Simon looks unamused, and I miss Pauler. Vanessa Wolfe, the country girl who was gonna go on an aeroplane, is next. She doesn’t sing well tonight, way too nervous, and I’m sad for her. Andrew moves on, Vanessa’s out. Poor girl, I was hoping she’d do well.
Crying montage.
Cornelius Edwards (pants splitter) is bad, Maegan Wright sounds good from here, but apparently she wasn’t, because she’s out. I remember liking her in the auditions. Amedeo DiRocco is out. Janell Wheeler does an acoustic guitar number, and I kind of love her. She’s in.
Montage of wacky and strange auditions. Hey, did Idol lose its Coke sponsorship? I don’t see the Coke glasses. This is what happens when you ditch the Pauler, dude.
Haeley Vaughn, one of the black country singers is playing her guitar and singing Taylor Swift’s “Change,” and I love it. Mary Powers, the kind of over-playing-the-part rocker chick, is okay but not my thing. Both of them are in.
Final results of the day, Ellen screws with them all and keeps telling different people to step forward then back. They’re all in.
Day 2. Simon tells the kids not to be nervous or boring or forget the words.
Jay Stone, the beatboxing singer, is awful. “Something’s wrong with his microphone,” says Ellen. I laugh mildly. Lilly Scott is doing Ella Fitzgerald with her guitar, and even though she’s wearing an entire peacock on each ear, I loooove her. Maybe my favorite so far. Lilly’s in, Jay’s out.
Michael Lynche’s wife is in labor right now, and he’s staying for the week, so I don’t like him. Too bad, because he’s good. But he sings “Waiting on the World to Change,” so meh. He’s in. Whatever. I’m totally holding a grudge, because as you know, I’m against any guy who auditions for Idol while his wife is in labor.
Tim Urban is singing a David Cook song. He has a bad note, but other than that, he has a nice voice, marketable face, stupid hair, so I imagine he’ll go far. Justin Williams, the cancer survivor, is next. I really liked him in the early auditions. They cut into the audition at an awkward spot, so I can’t tell if he’s great or awful. Randy calls him interesting, so I’m not hopeful. Tim is in, Justin’s out.
Montage of people they spotlighted in auditions going home.
Maddy Curtis is the one w/ four Down Syndrome brothers. I’m not on board w/ all the late ’70s / early ’80s dresses these girls are wearing. She’s not great, and the judges tell her she’s singing the wrong song. She’s only 16, so she can come back. Casey James had kind of no personality in the early auditions, but apparently he plays blues guitar, and he’s so much better here than in early auditions. Casey’s in, Maddy’s out.
Didi Benami is singing “Terrified,” by Kahra. Ok, I’ve never heard Kahra sing this, but Didi is wonderful. And the song is also wonderful (Kahra, you are a much better songwriter than you are an Idol judge). Crystal Bowersox is a little mama with dreds. She has a powerful voice, very nice. They’re both in.
So there are 95 through to the next round. My favorites so far are Andrew, Lilly, and Didi (winner!). A guy cusses, then says, “I think I may have just gotten an American Idol sign on my mouth, and I’m very sorry about that, America.”
Tomorrow night, the horrific group performances.
Woops, forgot to post this last week.
24. 4 p.m. 5 p.m. 6 p.m. 7 p.m.
American Idol. Chicago auditions. Orlando auditions.
Chuck. Morgan as the Assistant Manager will be awesome. I really enjoyed the bit where Morgan fired Lester. And this: “You’re incredible! Is that your spy training?” “Duck Hunt. Nintendo.” Hey, it’s the Tom Cruise Superman dude as Shaw! And this from Casey: “I have back issues of Guns and Ammo older than this guy.” And one of my all-time favorite Chuck lines: “Something else you should know about me. I love guns.” And have I mentioned that I love Captain Awesome?
Scrubs Med School. “No.” “I’m gonna go ahead and give you a pass, because you have murder eyes.”
Better Off Ted. “Eat me?” “Let’s go to dinner. I’m going to teach you the word ‘with.’” “Using them for wickedness would be like beating a unicorn to death with a bag of rainbows.” Writers might be RedEye viewers.
Castle. I knew all along that the dude was her mom’s killer and that he was just trying to get $100K out of the police.
CSI: Horatio. No SAHSM. Wasn’t Natalia abused by her dead ex-husband? I assumed that’s what she would tell the doctor.
Modern Family. Funny episode. But see, it’s not a very quotable show, which is why it’s not one of my favorites.
CSI: NY. Danny shouldn’t be withholding from Mack that he’s lost his badge. Withholding stuff from Mack never ends well.
The Office. Fake Stanley! “For the record? Not on board with Fake Stanley. Although I get it.”
Bones. Really fun episode. Booth shooting his way into the Jeffersonian was all kindsa dreamy.
Community. Love this show. Jeff’s girlfriend was really pretty.
Parks and Recreation. “That fish over there reminds me of my mother.” “Why?” “It’s… just being very withholding.”
30 Rock. LOL at Tracy’s t-shirt: “Impeach George W. Ashington.” Hahaha. Also, the Truffle Shuffle!
Human Target. Pilot. “How much of this came out of my taxes?” “About 62 billion.” “Even I want to kill you just a little right now.” We enjoyed this show.
Human Target. 2nd episode. Also fun. We are really liking this show.
Fringe. We wish they’d develop Astrid more. Also, I love it when Walter calls her asterix. (I know it’s asterisk, but he pronounces it asterix.)
This… is American Idol.
Fellow Texans (I claim dual citizenship–Texas and Idaho), please stop with the “Don’t mess with Texas” schtick. That’s from a TxDOT slogan telling people not to litter on the highways, and every time I see it, I think, “Give a hoot. Don’t pollute!” The more you know.
1st two-step reference! They’re having the auditions at Jerry’s new Death Star, aka Cowboys Stadium. I want to go to there. Simon and Randy are in their limo joke-guessing who their guest judge will be. Have y’all noticed that Simon rarely rides in a car with Kara? Think that’s coincidence? She always shows up separately, except when they came on that helicopter in L.A. Randy and Simon try to imitate Clint Eastwood, failing spectacularly.
Today’s guest judge is Neil Patrick Harris, and his goal is to shatter the dreams of thousands and to make two-three dozen people cry.
Julie Kevelighan is a college student. She auditioned in the first season and was horrible. To prepare for this audition, she’s taken choir, drama classes, etc. Cadet Happy told me last night that if he didn’t know I was WAY WAY WAY over the age limit, he’d have sworn this girl was me. He is truly evil. Wow, that is some kind of aquamarine-sequined dress she’s wearing. Oh, matching eyeshadow! Of course. She has a poster that says “This is my year” and then her name underneath. She ran out of room for her last name and just squeezed it in there. She will sing “Black Velvet,” and she is quite awful. Neil talks first and nails her on the sign, says she should have started over because of the last name thing. Then he tells her that vocally, it was not good. Simon tells her she’s missed off the word “not” on her poster. They give her 4 nos, and she starts singing again. And then again. Just make it stop. But no, she sings throughout the building.
More snark…
We get to see Seacrest in his radio studio with his golden microphone. Must be a Rush fan. This… is American Idol.
That dress makes Kahra’s boobs look saggy. Push-up bra, Kara. Look into it. Avril Lavigne is the guest judge, and she says the room is intimidating, so she’ll go easy on everyone. She’ll fit in nicely as Fake Paula.
The first contestant of the day is Neil Goldstein, who has an IQ of 168 and thinks he’s a “pretty smart guy.” If you were really that smart, you’d know you’re wearing a girl’s shirt, vest, and haircut. Also, you’re writing on a mirror in girl’s lipstick. He keeps clicking his tongue, and Simon asks Avril what that noise is. Avril is wearing a hoodie with devil’s horns on the hood. He’s going to sing Meatloaf. His first lyrics are “Remember everything that I told you,” and then he forgets his lyrics. Kara tells him to take his time, sweetie. Neil has goaty vibrato. Avril is laughing. Simon says he’s not suited for this business, and Neil and his IQ tell Simon that he’s wrong, he’s going to Hollywood and is not leaving the audition room, and he’s going to make his own reality. Oh, Neil. Neil, Neil, Neil. If you hadn’t gotten all militant on me, I might have felt sorry for you. Simon tells him he can leave on his own or with an escort. Neil’s answer *should* be, “Is she hot?” But instead he tells Simon, “Try not to hit anyone else with the door.” What door, asks Simon. And Neil goes the wrong way. Ah, Neil. I’ll miss you. The story of the door: “On the way in there, Simon hit me with the door, and it felt like he didn’t even know I existed.” “I really do think American Idol lost out today.” Yeah, they did. You could have helped all the girls with their costume choices. Zing!
More snark…