For those who missed the premiere last week, this year seems particularly focused on “Queen for a Day” segments–including at least two women who have hinted they were molested and an awkward model with Asperger’s syndrome. I’m sure more dysfunction will be revealed as the season goes on.

They start out with a nod to the flavor of the moment–the “green” movement. They are using a biodiesal bus that “erases their carbon footprint.” When the girls get to the mansion, there are plastic plants all over the place, and little notes giving environmental advice (such as conserving water, etc.).

The Asperger’s syndrome model (who is a cross between Paulina Porizkova and Lurch from the Addams Family) is awkward and alone as the rest of the models play in the pool and stuff themselves into a tub. If she doesn’t win this season, I’m sure she would make a great model in a back brace magazine, as her spine has a bizarre S shape.

The photo shoot is a before and after photo concerning the health effects of smoking. The after photos include such charming features as post-chemotherapy hair loss, burns after falling asleep with a cigarette in bed, a tracheotomy, a stillborn child (!), a collapsed lung, super-gingivitis, coughing up blood (lung cancer), and a facial tumor. Perhaps the most cruel twist, is they pair the autistic girl with another contestant in the only duo photo–why they would play against someone’s disability like that seems a little bit sadistic to me.

Miss J shows up all preppy looking like an extra out of Pretty In Pink. He takes the models to Old Navy to put together a look that will be judged. The Old Navy choices are all very boring and vanilla.

The judging is typical. Tyra is a complete egomaniac as per usual. The bland blonde girl goes home–eh.

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