Yay, a quadruple elimination!

All the contestants are wearing black and white and look like they came out of a Sears catalog from the ‘60s.

I have to say, this season gives me hope. The contestants are better than last year. Ryan says that Randy is talented, Pauler is back in a big way, and Simon is monotonous. Simon is also eating right now.

There’s a video of the top 24, and I actually like this one. Y’all know there are three Davids and two Jasons this year? Crazy, huh?

They’re doing a ‘60s medley, of course, and all the kids look like go-go dancers. Luke dances like a white guy. That’s okay, he’s white. Robbie looks cool in his Sinatra hat. Carly looks like a precious little housewife. I actually thought it was a good medley (finally), but it was a little awkward at the end. The kids looked like they weren’t sure what to do.

Haha, I love the vitamin water commercial with 50 Cent and the orchestra. That was better than a lot of the Super Bowl commercials.

Guys up first. Huh, I didn’t realize until now that David Cook and Brooke sang the same song. My coworker L today asked, “Why doesn’t Chikezie have a last name anymore?” Yes, why? Jason Yeager kinda sounds like Clay. Is that just me?

Garrett is called to the front first. Ryan tells him goodbye right away. No need to drag that one out, no suspense there. He’s gonna sing it out now. Is his hair darker tonight? Wasn’t he a blonde the other night? OH. Of COURSE he was going to go home tonight, he sang a going home song. “Breaking up is Hard to Do.”

After the break, it’s time for the girls.

Minerva is laying in front of the fireplace right now, and the fire isn’t on. It’s like she’s sure it’s warm there because it’s supposed to be.

Ryan calls Kristy Lee Cook up and tells her she’s safe. And then he tells Amy Davis she’s out. I knew she’d go home. She wasn’t bad, but the competition is tough this year. None of the girls actually suck. But you know how they usually do better when they’re singing their goodbye songs? Amy and Garrett both did earlier in the week. Wow, she is absolutely shaking.

Pauler’s going to perform! I don’t drink vodka, but I raise an imaginary shot glass in her honor!

LOL, Ryan: You may have heard Randy mention thousands of times that he’s worked with Mariah, Whitney, blah blah blah. Now he’s worked with Pauler.

They’re showing a video. Pauler doing “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.” Okay, um, it hardly sounds like Pauler at all – it’s so electronic. The dancing is great, and Pauler is smoking hot, but I have to say, the best part of this video is Randy Jackson. He’s playing bass, and every time they show Pauler onstage singing, Randy is bobbing up and down with the bass or waving at the nonexistent crowd or grinning in surreal fashion or swinging his hips. He’s like the whitest black guy ever. It’s really a pretty video.

Simon applauds and even kisses her on the cheek. He says Pauler represents all the colors of the rainbow. Haha.

Ryan calls Amanda and Joanne up and says everyone left on the couch is safe, so either of these two will go home. It’ll be Joanne. I couldn’t decide if it would be her or Alexandrea going home, but Joanne’s line wasn’t busy when I called.

LOL at the Citi commercial. As soon as I saw the plate, I said, “It’s tiny food!” That’s an actual food category. The guy in the commercial: “It’s like… elf food.” Hahahahaha.

We have these really stupid local commercials. Sometimes they pretend they’re Idol contestants. Once the guy was supposed to be Howie Mandell on Deal or No Deal. It’s a little embarrassing.

Amanda is safe, Joanne goes home.

RYAN: Simon, what’s going through your mind while you sit there sipping your cup? SIMON: How much I love Coca-Cola.

Joanne is very gracious and admits that she didn’t do her best Wednesday night. Oh, get it together, Ramiele. You’ll dehydrate your tiny self crying so much. Now the girls are having a contest: who can squeeze out the most crocodile tears. Ramiele, either Alaina or Kady (they all look alike), Asia’h. Who does that one girl look like? I think it’s Kady, but I can’t be sure. Looks exactly like a famous person, and I can’t figure out whom. Oh yeah. Scarlett Johansson. No, I think it’s Dominique Swain.

Chekezie and Colton are called up to the front. I wasn’t all that impressed with either one. I’d guess of these two, Chekezie is going. I’m wrong. Colton is out. Frank is sitting over there going, “I can’t believe people actually voted for the Hounddog guy.” “You mean Jailhouse Rock guy?” “Yeah, him. That’s why I never liked Elvis. All his songs sound the same.” One of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard him say, peeps. “I mean, he really was one of the worst guys, I just can’t believe people are voting for him.”

Colton is a little surprising to me. I thought some of the little teenage girls would keep him around longer for looks.

Ramiele and whichever one of those blonde chicks is a big cryer are clamped together in a tearful embrace. I mean, I might cry. Of course, I’ll be crying over being almost out of Doritos, but I could get all sobby up in here!