Hey, I’m guessing that someone(s) will bawl her(their) eyes out tonight. Ryan asks Randy what the purpose of themes is. Randy says they wanna know if you can sing yesteryear. Pauler, do you hate that you don’t have control anymore and had to turn it over to America? Pauler: No, I turned it over to vodka! Yay for Grey Goose! [That’s a vodka, right?] Ryan says that his mom, Connie, noticed something Simon’s been doing. We all know this will be the half moose thing, right? See, they don’t just read my blog, they read my comments too. Good job, whichever one of you commenters mentioned that one (Jessica).

Ick. The ’60s medley last week was so much better than this week’s ’70s medley.

I hope with all the hope of Obama’s collective hopeful supporters that they do the ’80s next week. How totally awesome would that be? Like totally rad.

They’re starting with the guys. Who did I predict to go? Jason Yeager and Luke. Aw. Jason Cook felt bad after being such a whiny baby with Simon. I’m so excited that David A has only about a .0005% chance of going home this week, because I don’t want to hear him sing that blasted song again.

Michael is safe.
Chikezie is safe.
Jason Castro is safe after Ryan has almost made my heart stop.
Danny is safe and Jason Yeager is out, as your raving snarker predicted (because I’m awesome). Simon says he’s not a bad singer, but he doesn’t stand out. Oh good cow. He’s so happy to sing about all these people losing everything because they have no love! You were right, Tracey! I must have been typing more than watching Tuesday night. That reminds me, I have to add Cullen to my Bloglines feeds.

Ladies are up now. About Amanda’s criticism by Simon, she responds, “If they don’t like it, they don’t like it. I’m not asking them to buy an album.” No, but um, you’re asking them to help you get a record deal. And you’re asking us to buy your albums in the future.

Kristy is safe.
Asia’h is safe.
Brooke is safe. Yay!
Huh. Amanda v. Alexandrea. I had them both pegged for going home. Amanda is safe. Alexandrea goes home. She did kind of sing a going home song.

Oh, poor little squishy David A is bawling his eyes out! Somebody give him a piece of pie. You’ll be okay, squishy. Awwwwww. Alexandrea runs over and hugs little squishy when she’s done singing. I just wanna rip both their arms off and hang them from my rear-view mirror! I actually almost teared up a little there. I survived the moment, though.

Ladies again. Collective moan from the front row as they’re asked to stand up.

Out of these, I’m guessing Kady goes. Or Alaina. That’s a hard one to pick. They were equally eh this week.
Carly is safe. Yay!
Ramiele is safe.
Syesha is safe. (She’s my least favorite, btw.)
Kady is safe.
Alaina is out.

Ramiele is shocked and crying. Alaina is crying and declares that she can’t sing, she’s too embarrassed.

I like how Brooke always puts on a sad face but can’t bring herself to fake cry.

What a way to go, right? In a pink ’70s maternity-looking shirt? Oh, and wearing soul crushers.

Oh look! Teh Princess is crying. Ryan gives Alaina a choice to sing or not. She says she’ll sing but it’ll sound horrible. She’s singing fine anyway. Pauler is seal clapping! “Yay! Only one more chorus till vodka! Play faster, band! Faster!” I love this show.

Wow, these kids are emotional.

Oh yeah. They still have to dismiss another guy. I was thinking the show was over. Sorry, Pauler. Sloshy time will have to wait.

Ryan has important Idol news. They have a whole new set for the top twelve, new something, new blah blah, and Ruben Studdard has recorded a new exit song for them. No no no no. Kill me now, k? Hey, question for you, peeps: If you’re flying without wings, doesn’t that mean you’re just falling? Always wondered. They’ve been trying for six years to get Sony/ATV to allow the Lennon/McCartney songbook on Idol, and they finally said yes. Awesome. Someone pleeeease sing “I Am the Walrus.” I loved it when Bono did that in Across the Universe. I love it when we do karaoke, because Frank always picks a lot of Beatles songs, and he’s so cute when he sings them. See, he can only sing high if he sings in his British voice, and it’s absolutely precious. I love my husband. Ooh, also “Live and Let Die.” But if anyone butchers “Hey, Jude,” I’ll come through the TV and do some throttling. That’s my all-time favorite Beatles song, and it must be handled with care. Oooh! “Blackbird.” Dooo it, David Archuleta. Dooo it. For me. I’ll love you again (like I ever stopped). “Norwegian Wood,” Jason Castro. “Eleanor Rigby.” “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” “A Day in the Life.” I could go on. I’m so happy about this!

Wow. Usually when Ryan says he brings big news, it’s kinda eh. Worthy of big news status, this one.

Also, they’re doing Idol Gives Back again. Oh no, please don’t do it! Last year I already decided I wanted to adopt a precious little black child, and this year, I’ll probably decide I want two. They’re so squishy, and I want to just gobble them up. April 9th, kids.

Luke and Robbie are up front, the two on the bubble. David A, David H, and Jason/David Cook are safe. Honestly, I can’t remember his name.

WHAT?! Robbie is out, and Luke is safe. ? I’m sorry to see Robbie go. He took it like a man, too. Good for you, guy from Melbourne! At least I won’t feel dumb for leaving Melbourne too early when they say on the news “All of Melbourne turned out to honor this year’s American Idol, Robbie Carrico!” Right, like I would ever feel dumb for leaving the suffocating air of the east coast of Florida. Anyway, I’m a little sad about that one.

Carly is crying over Robbie. Update on Ramiele: Still crying.