American Idol 8 Top 7 results. I’m so relieved for Lil.
This is American Idol. And this is your resident racist, SarahK.
Ryan says Happy Earth Day, and approximately three people in the audience give a hearty crap about that. Gives me hope, you know? That America’s youth isn’t completely brainwashed. Either that, or being earth-aware is so last year.
Pauler choreographed the group number this week. Hopefully they brought in Britney Spears to choreograph the lipsynching so it won’t be so obvious.
Um, no, no Neckid Britney. The lipsynching is as bad as ever. I feel like I’m watching the world’s biggest mixed sex boy band. The dancing is fun. It’s actually really good. Wow, that is quite the hoo-hah dress Pauler’s wearing. I kind of love it.
Something to look forward to: The Archtweener is here. He’ll probably sing a song about how sad the planet is.
Crappy Ford video is “I’m Good, I’m Gone.” I nothing it.
Little has to go to the far side of the stage, just so Ryan can go over there with her and tell her she’s out. I feel relieved for her–the weekly beatdown had to be tiring. She was better tonight than last night.
Frida Payne is out to sing a disco medley. Thelma Houston joins her. Then KC of KC & the Sunshine Band. This is just a big disco beating.
Kris (a boy, even though he and Kris Kristofferson spell their names like girls) is safe.
Adam is safe.
Danny is safe.
Anoop is in the bottom three. And, well, we already know that Lil was.
Matt is safe.
Allison is in the bottom three. AMERICA IS RACIST!
Archtweener. Yeah, I lasted about half a minute.
Anoop is out. Allison is safe. Phew! America isn’t racist! OR IS IT?!
12 Snarkbacks to “American Idol 8 Top 7 results. I’m so relieved for Lil.”
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April 23rd, 2009 at 2:07 am
just so you know, my fiance said, at the end of the show “well we got rid of two colors, now if we can just get rid of Allison.” And in case the accusatory are reading….IT’S A JOKE.
SarahK you had us both laughing hysterically at David A singing a “sad planet” song. We also lasted half a minute, actually less than that. Creepy kid….
See you next week!
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:47 am
Please please PLEASE let there be someone else out there that is freaked out by Archuleta? *Reads Jessica’s post* OH THANK GOD! There is functional thought left in the masses! I can now die in peace.
Wait. I still have to post my Idol comment before kicking off. Not to mention get a girlfriend. And a book published. Alright. So the death thing was a LITTLE dramatic.
ANYWAYS! Fox is offically ecstatic that things worked out in a way that have NOT made me boycott IDOL. I would probably have lost it had someone I liked *Gokey and Allison* got the axe AND NOT BEEN ABLE TO BE SAVED since they gave the save to Mole-forehead-hissy voice. As it were, Allison made it through and the Call-Centers get their Anoop back.
I will avoid saying anything mean about Lil, even though I didn’t like her, if only because her hubby is one bulky and intimidating dude.
Signing out.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 am
Well, one thing is for certain. David I-need-a-testosterone-injection Archuleta will never get to see his baby face reflected in a gold record. Wouldn’t it be a hoot and a holler to have the judges comment on the guest singer?
Randy: “Hey, you know I love you man, but that was just aight for me…a little pitchy…it just didn’t work dog, you know what i mean. I hated the arrangement…I…”
Kara: “I wasn’t here last year so this is my first time to see you and get to hear you sing. Having said that, let me say something else, I’m not sure what but what th’ hey. I’ll probably be outta here next season so I might as well keep on yapping my trap because…
Paula: “First let me say David that you look fantastic tonight. I love your hair….and those pants. Has your penis grown larger? No? I think you’ve found yourself as an artist and I’m sure you’re going to have a great career as….
Simon: “Listen David, what Pauler is trying to say is…well, I don’t know what she was trying to say and it doesn’t matter anyway because she’s only here to provide comic relief. That song sounded like something you might hear on a cheap cruise ship. Your style is…well, you don’t actually have any style. I’m afraid this will be the last night we’ll get to see you. I couldn’t wait for the song to be over. Actually, I think I threw up in my mouth during the second verse.”
Ryan: “Well, David, do you have anything to say to the judges?”
David: No…my fans will still vote for…I mean by my album. However, if you need a phone number and you’re a girl, mine is…”
Ryan: “THIS is American Idol.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 am
Thelma Houston and Freda Payne were both painful to watch. If this had been an audition show, neither of them would be going to Hollywood.
KC looked like Tony Soprano’s slightly younger brother. Yikes!
The better Lil looked, the worse she sang. Too bad.
Does anyone else think Adam might be the love-child of Tony Curtis and Kurt Russell?
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:56 am
Wait, are you calling Lil’s husband bulky and intimidating because he’s black? Racist pig!
j/k
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Ha! You’re the best - I sooooo love your commentary on Idol crapola! :)
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 am
Ha. I don’t even have to watch anymore, I can just read you re-caps and be happy. :)
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
SOOOOO glad you’re picking up on Allison’s pronunciation problems. She’s trying to be like Janis Joplin, I think. Trouble is that Joplin HAD to do that because her voice wasn’t all that great - it worked for her through pure willpower and amazing performing chops. Allison has a good voice and needs to quit trying to make herself worse than she.
This is a very talented group, but really - Adam kind of wrecks the curve. The best thing about him is that every week he keeps pushing to set the bar, he doesn’t rest on his praise. He’s tremendous all the time. Even when he gets painfully bizarre like his “Ring of Fire,” it’s wonderfully performed. I hate that Ryan even makes him stand up just to sit him right back down. It’s a waste. He would have to strip naked and eat a puppy on stage to not win this thing.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Jess, it was truly the first thing I thought. Archuleta = sad agenda song about how we’re bad people and need more love. And ha! Bad Paul!
Rorsh, we’ve been Archtweener hatahs for a while around here.
/Has your penis grown larger? No?/ haha.
Snake, yes, painful. But when you’ve done it well for that long, you get a pass in your old age.
Steve, ha!
Rich, thank you. :)
Carmen, I watch Idol so you don’t have to!
fly, YES! I’m glad you agree about the drunken slur.
And yes, Adam is in another league. He only gets better. I used to think it was gonna be a close one between him and Danny, but I don’t think it will be that close anymore.
/He would have to strip naked and eat a puppy on stage to not win this thing./
I don’t know, if he looks good naked and the puppy is cute… he could still pull it off.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Sorry, nightfly, but you are wrong!!!!! Adam naked on the stage would be [super duper] awesome.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:06 am
For all you Adam Lambert Fans - here he is in a “multimillion dollar production of ‘The Ten Commandments’ starring Val Kilmer”:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2009/04/adam-lambert-american-idol-.html
It’s a pretty fantastic performance. I’m sure he was great last year, too, as he toured with “Wicked.” And I’m sure he’s a great entertainer when he does his drag performances as well. He seems like a nice guy too – grateful and polite.
Many of the commenters at the end of the article are huge fans and feel like he’s “paid his dues” – he deserves this break. Maybe so. But watching seasoned professionals work a stage isn’t why I watch Idol. I know there have been other professionals on before (i.e. the Irish chick last year) so maybe I shouldn’t pick on him. But he’s a ringer, pure and simple. I enjoy the idea of people from the remote corners of this country who never thought they’d get a shot – get one. I like watching them challenge themselves, step up and grow in the process. Kris is a good example of this. Maybe it was my expectations of the purpose of Idol that was mistaken.
Adam is mega-talented and will win this thing. He was put on the show to win this thing from the start. Good on ‘im then – he’ll make Idol lots of money.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Does anyone else think Adam might be the love-child of Tony Curtis and Kurt Russell?
Or Elvis and Kurt….