American Idol 8 Top 4 results. Enunciation FTW!
So I got spoiled on tonight’s results. I can’t even be upset that Facebook spoiled me, because I’m quite happy with the dismissal. It’s all dark in the studio, and this is American Idol.
Oh yes, baby. Pauler’s gonna perform tonight. Be still my drug habit. I know, it’s not supposed to be funny anymore, but she’s supposedly sober now, so I’m deciding that means we can all look back and forward on it and continue to laugh and point. Thank you.
I didn’t pay attention to the cruppy Ford video. The group medley is “School’s Out,” with Slash on guitar. Oh, blergity yarf yarf. Adam and Allison are trying to harmonize again, and it’s an even bigger fail than their attempt last night. Yes, my word of the week is Fail. I like that Danny’s giving it his all even though he had the sad fail last night. Every time peeps asked my opinion today, I got all sad and mopey.
Slash is just a coolio cattio. Totally rox my sox.
Kris, a boy, says he didn’t think he would make it to the top four. Simon says we don’t want humble anymore. Adam says he really liked his outfit last night. Moving on. Danny says his own aunt muted the TV last night on the fail scream, and he says he laughed all night after watching it back and that it’s his funniest Idol moment ever. Simon applauds. Good.
Poh-lar’s on stage to sing “I’m Just Here for the Music.” She has a very springy mic stand. This is lipsynchtacular. And wow with the boobie smooshing and shaking. I really do feel like I’m watching a Neckid Britney concert, only Pauler has a better body. The ending is corndog to the max. One of my favorite freaky Pauler moments ever. Kicked the habit my big fat pinkytoe, y’all. My BFP.
Ryan asks Poh-lar why now. Because she’s like eighty and won’t be able to dance like that for much longer.
No Doubt is out to do “Just a Girl.” There are few things in this world I’d kill for. Gwen Stefani’s body is one of them. I know I’m supposed to love all over this performance, but I’m so not. FRANK: She’s lipsynching. SARAHK: Really? You would pre-record that crap?
My apologies to Gwen, but ughughgughughugh. I think I would have liked Adam singing this better.
The top four are center stage. The first person who gets to sit on the fluffy couches: Kris! Yay! The whole entire world is shocked, because we were all certain he would go home. You know Danny had to be crapping himself right about now.
Daughtry performs. It’s good. They have a new album in July. We’ll buy it. Dude. Daughtry’s eponymous debut album has gone 5x platinum. Well done.
Adam is safe. Danny has peed a little puddle next to Ryan’s foot. Allison is praying that Danny’s scream was enough to kill him.
Allison’s out. Enunciation FTW!
Blerg, this is worse than last night. But Kahra’s heartfelt yessing is just killing me. I hate that woman more than I hate fennel.*
*Ok, I don’t actually hate her, but you know. I strongly dislike her and want her to go die.**
**Ok, I don’t actually want her to go die, but you know. I wish she’d never been born.***
***Ok, I don’t actually wish she’d never been born, but you know. I wish there wasn’t an Earth so she couldn’t live on it.
14 Snarkbacks to “American Idol 8 Top 4 results. Enunciation FTW!”
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May 7th, 2009 at 1:48 am
SarahK, for the first time your blog confused me. I don’t know what eponymous means. Paul is pretending he does. I’m going to find a dictionary. This is a sad day for me. I thought I was a spelling bee champ and everything. And what does FTW mean?
Also, I don’t think the lyrics to “School’s Out” are “HO more pencils, HO more (unintelligible)” Maybe THAT’S why Allison is gone.
Ideal world? Kris and Adam final 2. More probable? Adam and Danny final 2. But it was worth a shot.
On a sort of unrelated note, the photographer that did the studio photos shown during Paula’s “song” also took my engagement photos. He’s a close personal friend actually. I’m not sure whether I should be proud of that or not…I’m proud of my photos though!
May 7th, 2009 at 1:49 am
As it turns out, Paul really did know what eponymous means. I’m marrying me a smart cookie!
May 7th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Jess, I wrote “eponymous,” and then I asked Frank to make sure it meant what I thought it meant, and he thought so, and I googled the definition just in case because I rarely use that word and didn’t want to sound like a tool using it wrong.
Spelling bee champ?! Me too! We’re awesome.
FTW=for the win. It’s like yay, enunciation is awesome, basically. I had to google that one a few months ago, because it was suddenly everywhere, and I was like, what does that talk mean?!
Very cool about your photog!
May 7th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Oh, and the reason I know eponymous: REM has an album that’s actually called Eponymous. So I looked it up a few years ago. It’s kinda meta to actually name your album Eponymous.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I failed in my predictions.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:02 am
We ARE awesome! FTW makes more sense now.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I thought FTW meant “F**K THE WORDS.” Allison’s detractors often mentioned her lax pronunciations, so I thought it was an ironic, snarky aside. Anyhoo, I praaaayed that Danny was a goner, but apparently prayers are not always answered. On performance night, Kris (a boy) sounded a hundred times better than Danny (Solo and Duetto). When Simon said Danny was better, I was thinking WTF?! DID WE WATCH THE SAME THING? DID HE GET INTO PAULA’S FENTANYL PATCHES? Even closing my eyes, so as to not visually influenced, Danny ’s voice sounded thin, tinny, like a baby goat bleating, and his growls were anemic, not feral. (I’m listening to Vh-1 classics and they just played Led Zepplin, and now Aerosmith’s Dream On is on. Now THAT’S ironic.) I meander. Allison’s demise just breaks my heart. I watched Adam’s first performances through my hands (horrified; I could barely watch his “Satisfaction” and “Ring of Fire.” ) I appreciated his voice more when I realized he never loses control of it. (His lower register is so stellar. TOTAL pity he doesn’t use it more.) I may not LIKE his falsetto ALL THE TIME, but he is clearly Talented, with a capital “T,” the total package. As was Allison. If she had sung “Cry Baby’ with as much emotion as she sang it after her elimination, she would have stayed in the game. All she needs is exactly what Slash pointed out, more stage presence; the confidence to let her body emote, too. She could learn a lot from Adam and still remain true to herself. In time, she will.
Kris Kristofferson was indeed born with that moniker. His brother’s name is Kraig. (Issue 1076, Rolling Stone, April 16, 2009 edition~Excellent in depth article about K.K., conducted by Ethan Hawke) He was born in Brownsville, Texas and walked barefoot to school. Is that “country?” I don’t know. Poor, yes. Kris Kringle is another K.K.’er. I think Chris is the Americanized version of the German Kris. It’ s derivative.
PS I don’t really have a gun. I deplore violence of any sort. I don’t even eat animals, as they die BRUTAL deaths. Brrrrr. Over and out!
May 7th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Leland, so did Alice.
robbie, how is that ironic? I don’t own *a* gun either.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Simon’s opinion that Allison “lacked personality” really annoyed me. She’s a 16 year old girl for God’s sake. Most 16 year olds aren’t Miley Cyrus who grew up in a show-biz family.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
If Allison had done Jackie Jormp-Jomp instead of Janis Joplin, she might not have gone home.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I so wanted Danny Dorky to get the boot. His Primal Scream left my ears bleeding. At lest if your going to scream, scream on key.
I will give him props for recognizing his vocal train wreck with wit and humor. He still bores me to tears.
On the other hand I will miss Allison. Opinion is what makes idol so fun.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Sarah, I thought it was ironic that as I was listening to VH-1, they played Led Zep (Adam) and right after, Aerosmith (Dream On~Danny) just as I was opining about them. (In my mind, it was ironic because I was listening to the closing wail done right, as I was writing about someone who failed to execute said yowl.) Maybe “coinky-dink” would have been a better term! ‘The gun” ref was to explain my earlier rant (last week) that I’d kill myself with the “gun under my pillow” (if I had to listen to the judge’s prattle).
May 8th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Wow. Kris is in the top three! Justice doesn’t sleep.
May 10th, 2009 at 10:35 am
lottie, LOL! We love that show!
robbie, oh. I wondered what the gun thing was about. I get it now.